Baby Health Essentials: A Pediatrician's Perspective on Fevers, Feeding, and First-Year Wellness
All those questions you’re itching to ask a pediatrician? We’re covering them in this week’s episode. When should you worry about a fever? Is your baby eating enough? And what's actually normal when it comes to baby poop? As a mom who frequently called the after-hours nurse hotline, I know personally that those first months with a newborn can feel like you’re on high alert. Dr. Michelle Wagner of Tuckahoe Pediatrics, a pediatrician and mom of three, helps us dig into everything from understanding why doctors take fevers so seriously in those first few months to navigating feeding worries and surviving the nonstop cycle of daycare illness. Throughout the conversation, she draws on both her medical training and lived experience to share some of the tools parents have to keep their kids healthy. And something surprising that might not be surprising at all – the love and safety you create at home can play a foundational role in your child's long-term health.
Note: Information in this episode is based on personal experiences and is provided for educational and entertainment purposes only. Information in the podcast does not constitute personal professional advice. We encourage you to independently evaluate any content and consult with appropriate professionals as needed for your specific circumstances.
Getting Started with Baby Podcast
A Few Key Quotes
On calling your pediatrician:
"Your pediatrician and everyone there expects you to call if you have concerns. No one's going to think that your concerns are silly. Every single pediatrician would much rather you call and check in." — Dr. Michelle Wagner
On breastfeeding pressure:
"As much breastfeeding as a parent can do that works for their family and works for their mental health is what we recommend. It's not an all or nothing battle." — Dr. Michelle Wagner
On what matters most:
"I don't think we can over estimate the effect [on health] of a loving, safe home where kids feel welcome and can just truly relax and release their stress." — Dr. Michelle Wagner
Essential Baby Health Takeaways Every New Parent Should Know
- Never Hesitate to Call Your Pediatrician's Office One of the biggest mistakes new parents make is worrying they'll bother their pediatrician with "silly" concerns. The truth is, pediatricians expect and want you to call with questions—it's literally what they're there for. Whether you're concerned about a rash, feeding issues, or just feel like something is off with your baby, reach out.
- Understanding Baby Fevers When it comes to fever in babies the guidelines are actually quite clear and informed by extensive data. For newborns up to four weeks old, any fever will likely require an immediate trip to the emergency room and testing. Babies this young have close to a 10% chance of having a serious bacterial infection that would need urgent treatment. From one to three months, call your pediatrician—they'll likely want to see your baby right away. But here's where it gets surprising: once your baby reaches three months, the approach completely changes. At this age, the risk of serious bacterial infection drops to less than 1%. Of course, if you’re worried or if the fever is particularly high, call your pediatrician for guidance.
- Baby Poop: The Complete Range of Normal Perhaps no topic generates more questions than baby poop. Here's what's actually normal-babies can poop anywhere from after every single feed (8-13 times per day, especially breastfed newborns) to once every five, six, or even seven days. Yes, a week without pooping can still be normal. The key is not frequency but consistency and your baby's overall behavior. As long as the poop is soft and mushy (remember, all they're eating is breast milk or formula), your baby is comfortable between poops, and they're feeding well, you're likely fine. Some warning signs you might want to call a doctor, though? Blood in the stool, poop that's white or lighter than expected (the color of a sheet), a baby that seems constantly uncomfortable even in between poops, or poop that looks either like adult poop or balls.
- Breastfeeding: Find What Works for Your Family Breastfeeding is often genuinely hard, even for parents who've done it multiple times before. But you don’t have to treat breastfeeding as an all or nothing situation. Stick to as much breastfeeding as works for your family and your mental health. There are antibody and colostrum benefits with any breastfeeding, with or without supplementation.
- The Trick About Preparing for Daycare Sickness: There is No Trick No matter what other parents tell you about daycare sickness, you cannot truly prepare for it. During that first year in daycare—whenever it occurs—your child will average one to two colds per month. Each cold will last about two weeks. In respiratory season, expect closer to two colds per month, meaning your child might get almost all the way better for a day or two before the next illness hits. As long as these illnesses aren't frequently resulting in hospitalizations or severe complications, this cycle can be fairly normal.
- Comforting a Sick Baby: Simple Tools That Can Help When your baby is sick and under four years old, there are limited medications you can use, but several techniques can help them feel more comfortable. Nasal saline drops followed by gentle bulb suction, especially right before sleep, can help your baby get a longer stretch of rest. For breastfeeding parents, nursing is an incredibly powerful soothing tool—even if your child doesn't breastfeed regularly, offering it when they're sick (or right after uncomfortable procedures like nose suctioning or vaccinations) can be remarkably calming. Other helpful strategies include cuddling, holding, skin-to-skin contact, and warm baths.
- One of The Most Important Factors in Your Child's Health: Your Love It might sound sentimental, but research backs it up: one of the most powerful things you can do for your child's long-term health is provide a loving, safe, supportive home environment. Studies on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) show that traumatic childhood experiences aren’t just linked to mental health conditions but also physical health conditions like high blood pressure, heart disease, and strokes in adulthood. The inverse is also true. Having a safe, loving home can be extremely protective against these same health conditions.
Frequently Asked Questions About Baby Health
When should I call my pediatrician about a fever?
The bottom line call your pediatrician whenever feels right for you – your doctor will most likely prefer you check in with them directly then rabbit hole on Google at 3 am. But general guidelines are that for babies under 4 weeks, any fever requires immediate attention. From 1-3 months, call your pediatrician —they'll likely want to see your baby. After 3 months, fevers become much less concerning, though you should still monitor your baby's overall behavior and hydration and call your doctor with any concerns.
How often should my baby poop?
Normal baby poop frequency can range from after every feed (8-13 times daily) to once every 5-7 days. As long as the poop is soft and your baby is comfortable between bowel movements, frequency alone isn't a concern.
Do I need to exclusively breastfeed for my baby to get the benefits?
No. Studies show benefits from any amount of breastfeeding, including antibody and colostrum benefits. Do as much breastfeeding as works for your family and mental health—it's not all or nothing.
Should I use baby tracking apps?
It depends on your temperament. If tracking provides reassurance and helps you stay organized, apps can be helpful. If they increase your anxiety or feel like another burden, trust your baby's cues instead—hunger, tiredness, and dirty diapers will become increasingly obvious as you get to know your baby better.
How much daycare sickness is normal?
During the first year in daycare, expect 1-2 colds per month, with each lasting about two weeks. This is normal immune system building, and likely not a sign of immune deficiency, unless illnesses frequently lead to hospitalization.
What can I give my sick baby in that first year?
Safe options to comfort your baby include nasal saline drops, gentle bulb suction, breastfeeding for comfort, skin-to-skin contact, and warm baths. Always consult your pediatrician before giving any medications.
Dr. Wagner's Baby Product Recommendations
Credit: Amazon
Baby Carrier (Ergobaby 360 or similar)
A high-quality carrier that supports front, back, and multiple carrying positions is invaluable—especially if you like being outside and moving around. Dr. Wagner used the same Ergobaby 360 for nine years across three children—survived pool trips and constant washing.
- Amazon: Ergobaby 360 (example listing)
* Please check the retailer for latest price.
Credit: Amazon
Quality Jogging Stroller (BOB or similar)
If you want to stay active, a real jogging stroller that can handle trails and different paces can be sanity-saving. Also worth checking secondhand markets (like Craigslist/Facebook Marketplace) for high-quality strollers in excellent condition at a great price.
- Amazon: BOB Gear Revolution Flex 3.0 (example listing)
* Please check the retailer for latest price.
Credit: Amazon
Coordinated Pumping System
Instead of pumping into bags, invest in a coordinated bottle system that works directly with your breast pump. Pumping straight into bottles helps preserve the beneficial fat layers that can stick to storage bags—and makes the whole workflow simpler.
* Please check the retailer for latest price.
Credit: Amazon
HALO SleepSack Swaddles
Versatile sleep sacks that swaddle the upper body while letting hips move freely (helpful for hip development). They unzip from the top and bottom for easier diaper changes, and transition from swaddle to regular sleep sack as baby becomes more mobile— so you can use them from newborn through rolling.
* Please check the retailer for latest price.
Full Interview: A Pediatrician’s Perspective on Common Baby Health Questions
[edited from audio transcript for clarity]
Dr. Wagner's Background and Approach to Pediatric Care
Jane Dashevsky: I have a confession. I was one of those moms calling the after-hours nurse hotline at my pediatrician's office a lot. There was always some fever or rash, and that's why it's particularly amazing to talk with Dr. Michelle Wagner of Tuckahoe Pediatrics today. She's a pediatrician and mom of three, so she's really been there. She's covering all the things you want to know about—fevers, rashes, the never-ending cycle of daycare sickness, and of course, the topic that drives so many questions: what's normal when it comes to baby poop? While this episode is so full of practical advice, the thing that really stuck with me is just how important the love you give your kids is to their health.
Welcome, Dr. Wagner. Thank you so much for being here.
Dr. Michelle Wagner: Thank you so much for having me.
Jane: To get started, can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your family?
Dr. Wagner: I'm a pediatrician and I have three kids. My oldest is eight—he's a boy. I had him when I was in my third year of medical school. Then I have a six-year-old girl, had her in the middle of my residency, and a three-year-old boy who I had during my chief year, which is the leadership year after residency.
Before going into medicine, I spent four years as a teacher. I taught second grade for two years and then worked as a teacher in a hospital for two years. That's what really got me interested in medicine.
Jane: It sounds like you have your hands full, and that must have been quite a challenge going through medical school and having your first kid during that time.
Dr. Wagner: Never a dull moment, that's for sure. Even now when I have a day off with the kids, which happens pretty often because I work in the hospital on shifts, it still feels like such a gift.
Jane: You're in the process of building your own practice. What makes you want to build your own practice, and how do you think about it being similar or different from what you've seen?
Dr. Wagner: I love taking care of kids in any setting—whether in the hospital, in a practice, or in a free clinic. I'm looking for a way to sustain relationships over a longer period of time and truly take care of whole families, not just when they're sick or right after they've had their baby.
I'm hoping to start off very, very small, hopefully sustainably, with maybe 20 to 50 families. I'm doing home visiting for newborns and kids in a direct primary care model. It'll be membership-based where I'm available to them and they can text me, call me. I can show up preferably in a pretty small geographic area around where I live.
Jane: You're a mom of three yourself, and you went through pregnancies and early childhood while training to become a pediatrician. How has that impacted how you provide care and how you view what you're doing?
Dr. Wagner: Even in residency when I already had kids, some of my supervising doctors who were wonderful practicing pediatricians but didn't have kids would say something offhand, like advice about giving an antibiotic three times a day to an 18-month-old. I'd laugh—not in a mean way—but the advice is so much harder to follow in real life. Being in healthcare and being a mom, I could really relate to the struggles parents were going through so much more closely.
If you've never tried to feed a baby, you have no idea what the challenges of breastfeeding or formula feeding or just getting the calories into your baby are—you have no idea what battle someone is fighting. Being on the healthcare side and meeting families in very vulnerable moments really shaped my view.
I was able to have an innate sense of grace and empathy, always giving parents the benefit of the doubt in a way that I don't know if I would have been able to if I hadn't gone through a lot of those steps on my own.
Jane: That's so important. That's something I hear from moms so often—they're looking for a doctor who's going to match their energy in a way that doesn't make them feel worse when they go.
Dr. Wagner: 99.9% of the time, a parent's instincts about their child are right. So, if they think you're missing something, if they think there's more there than what you're seeing, it's probably true.
What New Parents Need to Know: Common Concerns
Jane: Those first times the kid gets sick or those first weeks, not really knowing what to expect—you don't really know if what you're seeing is what you should be seeing. What are some of the things you wish that parents knew from the beginning that you have the experience to know now?
Dr. Wagner: Your pediatrician and their office—everyone there expects you to call if you have concerns, and no one's going to think that your concerns are silly. Every single pediatrician, even if you're worried it's going to waste our time, would much rather you call and check in, send a portal message or try to contact us directly.
Not that there's anything wrong with looking things up online, but I think you can often put yourself down a rabbit hole. Before you know it, you've spent your entire window where you could be sleeping looking at Google. It can really set you back. I felt this as a new parent—almost like I was embarrassed that I didn't know more. I cared a lot what the doctor was going to think of me or whoever I was calling.
I was talking to a group of moms the other day and we all had three kids. We were like, yeah, by the third kid, we just didn't care what anyone thought of us anymore. But I wish I could go back to myself or to any first-time parent—no one is judging you for asking for help or asking about things that are totally normal. This is what we do.
Most of the things that parents worry about a lot that pediatricians can help with are rashes—almost all of them are nothing to worry about, but tend to be the things keeping parents up at night. A reasonable concern is parents being really worried their babies, especially if breastfeeding, aren't getting enough to eat. Know that's why we see your baby like 10 times in the first two months. Yes, you can track the diapers at home, but that's why you're bringing your baby in every two to five days—the pediatrician is there to guide you and tell you if you're on track. It's super stressful. These visits are designed to feel like you never leave your pediatrician's office in those first few weeks—that's what we're here for.
And then I get so, so, so many questions about babies pooping. Generally, if the poop is soft, that's not something we're too worried about.
Baby Poop: Understanding What's Normal
Jane: The poop thing is a very common parent concern. So maybe once and for all—I don't know if it'll be once and for all because people will always have this question—but what is the range of normal when it comes to baby poop in terms of frequency and other questions that you might get?
Dr. Wagner: In general, it can be anywhere up to after every single feed, which can happen in some breastfed babies, especially early on. So that could be anywhere from eight to 13 times a day at the beginning. But it's also normal for babies to go five, six, seven days without pooping.
I'd say when you're getting close to a week, you should call your pediatrician to check in. There are some other tips and tricks they can give you to help the baby poop. But say it's been five days, baby turns bright red, pushes as hard as they can, makes a huge soft poop-filled diaper—you have nothing to worry about even though they went five days.
The things we look for are if there's blood in the poop—that's always a sign we're worried about. Or if the poop is really light white, the color of a sheet, lighter than you would expect it—those can be signs of problems, so you'd want to call your pediatrician. Or if when the poop comes out, it looks like adult poop—like it's formed in balls. Baby poop is supposed to be really soft and mushy. All they're eating is breast milk or formula. They're not supposed to be able to form their poops.
The other thing you're looking for is—babies tend to look pretty red, grunty, uncomfortable while the poop is actually coming out. But when they're not pushing the poop out, they should be comfortable, feeding and soothing and just acting normal all around. If your baby's acting pretty normal and still feeding well, you probably don't have to worry about how much they're pooping.
Understanding Fevers: When to Worry and When You Can Likely Relax
Jane: You mentioned that you can work yourself up if you're trying to Google things too much. I know now people are doing ChatGPT, which is slightly less alarmist than Google. But there were a lot of times when I would Google something and the Google response would be much more alarming, and then I'd call the nurse hotline and they'd be like, don't worry. Are there common things like that that you feel like parents end up getting worked up about? I remember one for me was fever. I was really worried about any kind of fever and I'd call the doctor and they'd be like, “you're fine.”
Dr. Wagner: We are so serious about fevers in newborn babies. Up to four weeks, any fever, you have to go to the emergency room. You have to not just go to the emergency room but spend the night in the hospital, get a huge workup just because we know babies that age are at such high risk of having a bacterial infection that we could be missing.
For me, one to three months, you absolutely want to call your pediatrician and your pediatrician is probably going to bring you in. Then the second they turn three months, it's like we don't care about fevers anymore—which sounds completely absurd because you're like, wait, three weeks ago I had to call and do all these tests. But after three months onward, we basically treat them like a big kid, assuming they're getting their regularly scheduled recommended care from the pediatrician.
Based on a huge data set of millions of children, we know what the risk is of a more serious infection. When babies are born, there's close to almost a 10% chance that any fever could be an infection in their bloodstream or an infection around their brain. By the time they get to three months, we know the risk of those things is less than 1%. That's why we care so much about fevers at the beginning—because there is a really high risk of a serious bacterial infection that would need immediate treatment in the hospital. After three months, that risk is pretty much gone.
Breastfeeding: Finding What Works for Your Family
Jane: The other thing you mentioned, which is such a common, especially for first-time parents, concern, is around feeding. Especially if you're breastfeeding. I know with my first one, I got so worked up I bought a scale. And I think that might have made it worse.
Dr. Wagner: Breastfeeding is really hard. Even for parents who have breastfed a million times before, it's really hard. For most of us, we want real concrete numbers and answers. I know plenty of moms who actually would pump instead of direct breastfeed because they wanted to know exactly how much their baby was getting. I think it's a completely natural instinct.
I do think lactation consultants are just about angels on earth. In most places, there are quite a few of them who will do home visits, and a lot of those are actually fully covered by insurance. So much of what they can do is weigh the baby before they feed and then weigh after they feed, then give you an idea of, "Okay, your baby took 37 milliliters in this feed, which means you need to give about this much supplementation." They’ll also walk you through how to phase supplementation out.
Most moms, myself included, struggle with "Do I have enough milk? Is my baby growing well?" However you feed your baby—whether you do some breast milk, some formula, all formula, all breast milk—there are benefits of breastfeeding all the way through. But so much of the benefit of breastfeeding, the studies aren't able to distinguish between those babies who benefited with supplementation or without. If you've done any breastfeeding, there's a huge benefit.
I was really hard on myself about this, partly because I was back at work, and I felt like if I didn't give my child exclusive breast milk, I was a worse mom. I was pumping all the time and wasn't really making enough, but would wake myself up in the middle of the night to do extra. By my third, I was just like, no, this isn't worth giving up my middle-of-the-night sleep to do these two extra pumping sessions. I'm still breastfeeding, but those extra bottles are not coming from me.
I wish I'd been able to shift my mindset a little sooner. As much breastfeeding as a parent can do that works for their family and works for their mental health is what we recommend. It's not an all-or-nothing battle. We can't talk enough about how managing stress for moms and just making things work for the whole family in every way, how important that is.
Jane: I hear from a lot of moms, especially first-time moms, there's so much pressure to breastfeed. And if it's not working, you go through this whole cycle of triple feeding and waking up to pump when you're not feeding—you're basically just not doing anything else the whole day. Very challenging mentally. Hearing your mental health is also important as the mom—that's such an important message.
How Each Child Is Different
Jane: You mentioned your experience having three kids varied from kid to kid. So what was that like? Did you see a difference between one and two? Did you get more relaxed at three? What did that look like?
Dr. Wagner: After the first one, I didn't actually feel like I had it down, but I felt pretty confident because at that point I was a pediatrician, I was in residency. It couldn't possibly be that hard to do it again. And I do think every kid is just completely challenging in their own way. It was pretty clear I was kind of at capacity even with just the one.
It's sort of like losing all expectations of what it was supposed to look like or how it was supposed to be or how much I was supposed to do this, this, and this. I wasn't putting nearly as much pressure on myself to do anything except feed my kids and keep them healthy, especially in those first few months. I think that is what made it easier, but not necessarily the experience of already having the kid because I found each kid to be just wildly different.
Breastfeeding got easier for me with each kid, which was really nice. But my first one didn't sleep great—I mean, he was a pretty normal baby sleeper. My second one, we didn't sleep train her or anything, and she just started sleeping through the night when she was seven weeks old. My third did not consistently sleep through the night until he turned two. That was despite our best efforts and doing everything I thought I knew how to do.
I'm the same mom. I did the same things with all of them. I have the same husband. Same with stuff like potty training. You think you know what you're doing and then your kid just really shows you who's boss each round you do it. I think my hubris disappeared more and more with each one that I have any control over what happens.
Jane: That actually is honestly so helpful, though, because there's so much pressure that the thing that you're doing may not be the right thing. It probably actually helps to see that genes combined three times or two times or whatever have produced wildly different results in terms of personality and interests.
Dr. Wagner: Completely. I think there is a part of it that we can control, but it's always a much smaller part than we imagine. The most important thing we can do as parents is provide safety, warmth, comfort, love—those basics. Doing our best to get them to eat the things we want them to eat, to get enough sleep every day, to get outside and play and exercise. Just so much of it is up to them.
Baby Tracking Apps and Technology: What's Actually Helpful
Jane: I'm super curious. There's been a real proliferation of apps to track things. What is your stance on that? Is that good? Is that bad? Do people need it?
Dr. Wagner: Same as with the scale or with any monitoring for a baby: if it's truly relieving your stress as a parent and making you feel more confident and better in your ability to thrive and take care of your baby, then the app makes sense. I have a lot of friends who are extremely organized and thrive on a schedule. Some of those structures, having a place to track their diapers and the lengths of their feeds, was really comforting, helpful to them and really helped their family function. If that is what the app is doing for you, by all means.
I think any app, tool, gadget, anything that's bringing extra stress into your life as a mom—which for me, they were always one more thing to touch and track and get behind on—it wasn't the right tool for me. If you prefer to trust your baby's cues to feed them when they're hungry, change their diaper when they're wet or dirty, follow their sleep cues, that’s also a great way, especially for the first few months, to navigate it.
From the second you meet your baby, you're spending essentially 24 hours a day with them. You’ll learn their routine. Even if you were to do minimal outside reading and research or talking to people, moms and dads, but especially moms, can tell when their baby's tired or hungry. You start to pick up on those things really, really quickly.
Preparing for Daycare: The Reality of Constant Illness
Jane: We're heading into a time period when there is much sickness going around, particularly if you have a child in daycare. Any tips? I know when my children entered daycare, no matter what people said to me about "oh, you're going to be sick," I was unprepared.
Dr. Wagner: I don't think there's a way to prepare for it because you don't actually have a sense until you're in it. Whenever that first year in daycare is, whether it's in their first year of life, second, third, they're going to average about one to two colds a month. Each cold is going to last about two weeks. Especially in respiratory season, it's usually going to be closer to two than one. They maybe get close to all the way better for a day or two before the next one hits.
I think a lot of parents come in and are like, “my child definitely has an immune deficiency.” As long as those illnesses are not frequently putting your child in the hospital or leading to severe complications, that's generally a sign of a healthy child building their immunity.
To every parent I meet who's had a child in daycare from pretty early on, when they get to kindergarten, they're never getting sick. They'll never miss a day of school because they fought it all off all the way through. But whenever that first year of consistent exposure to other kids is, whether it happens shortly after they're born or a few years later, is just going to be a really tough year in terms of illnesses.
Soothing Sick Babies: Some Things That Actually Work
Jane: When they're little, under four, there's so little that it feels like you can do for them when they’re sick. What can you do to help them feel more comfortable?
Dr. Wagner: Actually, one of the best parts of if parents are continuing to breastfeed, even if it's not the only source of nutrition, is that breastfeeding is extremely, extremely soothing to babies, especially if they're sick. They may not breastfeed all the time, but you can breastfeed right before bed or clean their nose out with saline and suction, which really helps them. Instead of them losing their minds because they just got suctioned, you can put them straight to breast. That can be a really soothing tool.
At least for mine, when we did things like immunizations with our pediatrician, I would just have them attached to me as they were giving the shots, and only half the time did they even wake up. It is such a powerful soothing tool if that's something that is still in your toolbox to give to your kid.
I would also say nasal saline drops, even if you just do the drops and don't go through the suction. Using a bulb suction after drops can be really effective. If you do that right before they go to sleep, it can get them a longer first stretch of sleep. Whether they're bottle or breastfeeding, doing it before a feed can really help them to feed while they're sick.
For infants, even once they've grown—cuddling, holding, doing skin-to-skin, warm baths can all be helpful.
The Most Important Thing: Love and a Safe Home
Jane: That's good to have in the toolbox. Any other tips that parents might not commonly think of?
Dr. Wagner: You cannot overestimate the importance of keeping yourself healthy and doing what you can to manage your stress so that you really can enjoy your time with your kids when you get it. Just modeling as often as possible—and no one is perfect at this—but if there are two parents in the home, modeling loving relationships. Just a supportive, warm, safe home environment.
I don't think we can overestimate the effect of a loving, safe home where kids feel welcome and can just truly relax and release their stress the second they get in. I'm not just saying this to be warm and fuzzy. So many studies show that just kids knowing they are loved, knowing that their parents are happy to see them, and having as little household stress as possible really, really is important to kids' health.
Jane: Such a powerful thing to remember too, that even if everything doesn't go perfect, having that loving home is really important.
Dr. Wagner: There was a series of studies done about adverse childhood experiences—traumatic childhood experiences like loss of a parent, extremely stressful home environments with things like abuse and truly terrible things. And the studies looked at not just mental health conditions but physical health conditions—high blood pressure, heart disease, strokes, all kinds of conditions. The likelihood of adults having serious health conditions could be directly predicted in a dose-response way, meaning the more traumatic experiences a child has—to the point that if you had more than four, you're close to 200 times more likely to have some of these adult health conditions.
Some subsequent studies are looking at the converse of that, how these positive childhood experiences—meaning always having a safe and loving home, having a parent who they know would love them no matter what—those are actually extremely protective against those same health conditions.
Jane: It would make sense that there is an impact from having those traumatic experiences, but it's so interesting to also hear the inverse—that having the positive experiences actually sets you up for those more positive outcomes.
Dr. Wagner: These studies are newer. I think there's more that has to be done. Some of the best ones are looking at maternal stress, especially pregnancy and early childhood, and how that affects kids. The more we learn about any of this stuff, about how much parents and kids are connected emotionally and through mental health, the more we're going to realize loving your kid keeps them healthy.
Jane: Wow. What a powerful thought.
Practical Baby Product Recommendations
Jane: I'm curious, in your experience as a mom or as a pediatrician, is there anything you swear by that you think is super helpful for parents to have?
Dr. Wagner: When we had our first I was in medical school, so we really weren't buying anything extra. Just what we absolutely needed, which I think was a really good lesson. All this stuff that's being advertised to me that I really and truly couldn't afford was actually mostly things I didn't need.
I would say you do need a good baby carrier. I just love to be outside moving around. There's a lot of good ones out there. We used the Ergobaby 360. We got it nine years ago and used it with all the kids—front, back, every which way. It never fell apart. I would take it in the pool sometimes, like if I had one on me and I was wading in, and would wash it after. That thing has held up through everything and I used it at least once a day for probably eight years.
We did get—and I found this one actually on Craigslist—I got a Bob jogging stroller and then a Bob double jogger because I really like to be able to go on trails and then to be able to run. I feel like many times it saved my sanity as a parent to have just a good stroller that I could go any pace with.
And then at one point when I bought my breast pump, at first I would just pump and then dump into the bags. But my mom was helping us with our kids a ton, and she'd be like, "But all that good fat layer is just stuck inside the bag and I can't get it back into the bottle. So I feel like I'm not giving the baby everything." So I just bought the entire line of bottles that matched my pump. It took a much bigger cooler to be able to transport it back and forth, but that was such a game changer.
We loved the Halo Sleep Sacks. Those were by far our favorites. We got other kinds and threw them all away and just had those full-time.
I'm pretty big on using things for as long as possible. The Halo Sleep Sack is the sack on the inside and then two arm things on the outside. I always knew that—because you don't really want to swaddle the hips tightly because that can interfere with their hip development—it was just going to be their upper body that was well swaddled and their hips would always befree to move. Once they got to the point where they were rolling over, I could just use that same Velcro and just Velcro it under their arms so they could still have a sleep sack on, but I didn't have to buy multiple stages of sleep sacks. I could use the same ones all through.
And the ones we had unzipped from the bottom and from the top so I could change the diaper while they were swaddled.
Jane: That sounds super helpful. Anything that you think parents gravitate towards that is probably unnecessary?
Dr. Wagner: I'm sure there's a parent for every gadget. I would say the thing I see most often is the little hand covers that you can get to keep the child from scratching their face that fall off all the time. I just think they always get lost, you can never keep them together. But also, after the first few days, you really want kids to be looking at and playing with their hands whenever they're not asleep and swaddled. Those covers can sometimes interfere with the baby's ability to look at and play with their hands.
We were gifted a very nice baby monitor that never actually left the box. We lived in a very small space. So it was kind of like, “Well, I'm going to hear my baby if anything happens.” I know some people really like having the baby monitors, but for us that $250 baby monitor someone had gifted us, six years later I just gave it to someone else.
The other thing—I didn't buy a fancy regular stroller. By the time I had my third kid, I was like, "Well, this seems a little late for this." And I really wish, from the beginning, because I knew I was hoping to have more than one child, that I had invested in the nicest stroller system to be able to fit multiple kids in different directions and to go on all different kinds of terrains. I just remember looking at the prices and being like, “I don't know why I would ever need that.” And later I was like, “oh, that's actually kind of like your car—you use it all the time.”
Jane: Yeah, I mean that was my regret too, because we thought we were only going to have one, and I didn’t want to spend that much on a stroller. But you actually made a really good point about the Bob stroller as well, which is that those big-ticket items on the secondhand market you can get gently used ones for such reasonable prices and you can get whatever it is that you want that's going to support your family.
Dr. Wagner: Absolutely. I feel so lucky because I think so much baby stuff is pretty expensive. I feel very lucky that I got to just use it all through all the kids. Now by the end, some of it I was able to give away, but most of it by the end of my third was completely trashed and I felt like I'd done my due diligence to use it until it was done.
Jane: Well, and I think that's another good point too, that especially if you're planning on having multiple kids, sometimes spending the money on the thing that's higher quality just ends up being the better choice even if initially it feels like something you might not want to do.
If you had to have one takeaway from this episode, what would it be?
Dr. Wagner: I would just say the most important thing you can give your baby is your love and your time. Trust yourself as a parent. That's what your baby needs from you. And if you need help, your pediatrician's always there for you. So just feel free to call.
Interested in learning more from Dr. Wagner, follow her on Instagram @tuckahoepediatrics or visit the Tuckahoe Pediatrics website.
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